Sunday, August 10, 2008

Twinkle toes.

Every time I come to work, I pass this advertisement for a “Dance Studio” which I am seriously contemplating joining.

People who know me in offline life and are reading this, will probably be falling off chairs and breaking bones after reading this earth shattering revelation (serves you right, you scoffers) or maybe calling each other up to discuss what has brought about this metamorphosis in me (Hmm. Probably not) .

Well, maybe they have a point. For a greater part of my young adult life (say between the age of 18-23, (round about the time I accumulated these scoffers), I excelled so much in wall flowering that I almost made it an art form. I had a problem for every solution they offered on dancing (I can feel my spinal disc slipping, angan tedha hai, I don’t dance to Hindi flllum music, my shoes- they, bite like the serpent and sting like the adder)

The reality was that all these people I used to fraternize with seemed to be the direct descendents of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (Or Hrithik and Madhuri) – all sinuous moves and grace and light toes. I on the other hand, well, let’s say if you wanted to be kind, you could have compared me to a left-footed, coordination-challenged china-shop-Bull, high on fevicol, let loose amongst these graceful gazelles and dewy-eyed-does.

At 22-23, round about the time I started working, I improved slightly. It could be attributed to the fact that my then-super boss threatened to sack me if I didn’t get myself on to the dance floor. They told me I wasn’t half bad. It was probably all those nerves twitching at the prospect of no money, which they mistook for jazzy dance moves.

Fortunately I quit and ended up at a places where the bosses were male and more interested in making us dance through hoops IN the office (Boss No.2) or in the mythology of dance ( hyuk, hyuk, this last one is such a GOOD pot-shot at my erstwhile (unloved and unlovable) Boss No. 3. Such a pity no one will see it)

Then I got married. Husband dearest has a well, rhythm-sense, which seems to be operating on a frequency known only to him. So while he DOES dance well enough, he dances to a beat is in his brain, which is usually not even remotely in sync with the tone actually playing outside it.

So one COULD be forgiven for thinking one was watching a drunken rout of some sailors on an unsteady ship in a storm, if they happened to see us boogieing together.

So anyways, coming back to what I was saying. What has brought about this metamorphosis? This complete volte-face? This turnaround in principles dearly adhered to, most of my life?

Trigger number 1 – at the sister in law’s wedding party – there was this razzmatazz-type-thingummy where the dratted video camera has caught enough footage to make an Ashutosh Gowariker length movie of S trying to get me on the dance floor and me sneaking away from it. All it needs are some background tracks from Aaja Nachle and me yodelling ‘na, na, na, na, na, na. Dancing like a drunken sailor with friends is one thing, but to do it with a posse of in laws, not to mention a video camera, is something which I would gladly pass.

Trigger number 2- We were dragged kicking and screaming to some party where even the doddering centurions were waving their walking sticks in accompaniment to the beats while I was quietly (and unsuccessfully) trying to merge with the woodwork.

This stain on the reputation of the valiant descendents of la Cynique de Wonderlande cannot continue I have decided. So I shall either conquer dance, or dance shall conquer me.

(If I don’t come back with another post, chances are dance MIGHT have conquered me)


Epiphany said...

I take it you don't drink...nai to no issues...people just think you are drunk ;)

BTW if you want people to think you know how to dance just start making faces like Govinda while dancing, works like a charm!

Pinku said...


my condolences err i actually mean congratulations...u will actually do the undoable??

u are so brave cynic??? so very brave do mail me a pic of yours I will contemplate on it everyday till I find the courage to step onto a dance floor.

yours truly,

the original wall flower at all parties where music plays.

Rada said...

You have a fellow-sufferer in me, cynic!

Till recently, it was mandatory for all visitors to my house to watch a video clip showing me dance at the annual office party.

My wife and daughter will load the CD and there will be much merriment and howls of laughter (some visitors even slid off the sofa!) and a good time will be had by all!

Except me, of course! :-(

IdeaSmith said...

To which last line, I quip "Chance pe dance kar, bas!"

Akshaya Kamalnath said...

Oh I totally run away from dancing too. You've been brave to make your resolution. I probably will remain a person with two left feet forever.

Soulmate said...

Go ahead Lady... learn it... you can do it.. show the world that you can...

manuscrypts said...

agree with epiphany on the govinda part... also try his dress sense, while you're at it ;)

Trinaa said...

if u dont mind i'll comment after i manage to stop laughing... muhahahahha...

Nandini Vishwanath said...

LOL I do not care ;) I just jump around and love it.

Sapna Anu B.George said...

Go ahead and do it dear........some thing that some of us still dream to do 'even with legs into the grave'

a million different people said...

Hm. I don't know what to say.

Have fun? All the best?

Meghna said...

hehehe good one!! Njoy!!!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

epiphany - you are drunk if you dance or you dont dance? govinda faces eh? hmmm.

pinku - someone who might teach me, would probabaly be braver dont you think?

rada - pls, pls put it up on utube? i promise i will not laugh. will just get inspired.

ideasmithy - wohich to karna hai hai.

akshaya - hmm good im glad to know that. makes me feel less alone and left footed.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

soulmate - sigh the problem is i dont think i CAN. Unless I have surgery and saw a right foot somewhere.

manu - bah. nice try.

trina - im sure you are a superb dancer. aaaaaaargh.

nandini - send pics and lemme get inspired.

sapna - ah. good im glad to hear that. maybe it will actually get me doing it rather than just contemplating!

million different people. all the best to me? heck ill be the stamper.

meghana - thankee

phatichar said...

I've always had two right feet (or is that 'left'..aww, how does it matter?)..

Howlarious as usual :))

A said...

He he nice reading!

Well age can't confine the dancer within a soul...Ppl start quite early in life (Kindergarten inspires them probably) - or in the mid-age (me! me!) - to even in thirty/forty- something (yes! I do train with uncles and aunties in classes).

So irrespective of which category you belong start soooon, if you have the bone for it :)

In fact I wrote in detail about my revelations of it sometime back...


PS: Landed here from somewhere, can blogroll?

Cynic in Wonderland said...

phatichar - yus yus, question, people who are good dancers have two right feet?

ATB - you are assuming there is a dancer within the soul no. i have investigated it quite throughly, i cant even find a whiff of a dancer. ah well. yus sure blog roll me. blog rolling is good.

A said...

Oh well, Nevermind, Everyone with legs and hands and waist can dance in his/her own style! at least in parties, I tell you - and that is lovely.
Between ATB meant all the best :)