Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Journal

Ed Note: Blogger's block. Random fiction written being posted now.

There was just a small paragraph in yesterday’s newspaper

“IT PROFESSIONAL KILLED IN ANDHERI. 29 year old Avinash Mathur was driving his motorcycle when a truck mowed into him, killing him instantly. Mathur, was working in an IT MNC”

Such a small paragraph couldn’t possibly have a huge impact could it? Well it did. On his family, our colleagues, on our other roommate and of course, on me.

Three days later I was at his desk, clearing out the drawers, when I found his journal. I opened it, thinking it would give me one more chance to feel that wonderful, charming Avi still lived

I found this.

20th July I saw her today the new recruit. I felt the craving again. The itch in my soul, which tells me that I want her, that I MUST have her.

25th July I walked by her desk and gave her my special smile. The one which Anu called my ‘angel smile’ just before she went ‘missing’. This one smiled back. MUCH more delectable than Anu was.

28th July why does civilization shackle us? Why can’t I just possess her like our forefathers did? As animals do? Why is blood, lust, taboo? Why must I go through this courting farce?

8th August I must have her. Her skin so creamy, that figure just begging for love, that delicious mouth. I must make it mine. Just like I owned the others, make her beg for mercy. Be patient Avi. You can’t scare her like you did little Sumi. She shouldn’t suspect anything.

16th August She stays in Andheri. Her family is in Kerala. Ah the Malyali sultriness and that lovely, voluptuous body...

28th August Progress. I took her for coffee today. She had a good time. She laughed a lot and flirted too. I don’t know how I kept hands off her. How I put my social face, made jokes and talked normally. She trusts me now.

29th September We’ve gone out every weekend. She’s attracted. I can sense it. I wish I could like her normally – the kind where you date, get married and live happily ever after. But this urge doesn’t go away; it’s like a fire behind my eyes, thundering blood in my head.

10th October She thinks it’s romantic to keep “us” a secret from everyone else

18th October I don’t know how I can last much longer. This fire will destroy me, I dream of taking her, and then afterwards, my hands squeezing that beautiful neck until it snaps – just like that. Like a twig. Just like the others did.

23rd October Her flatmate is travelling. I’m going to her house now. Today is the day. The day she will join Anu and the others in my secret place where I can see them, touch them, love them. With me forever till posterity...and the itch will go away.


23rd October – the last entry in the journal .The day he met with an accident. On his way to Andheri...

23 comments:

Iya said...

look who is back...
u were missed!!! had a good vacation???

and coming to this post - its scary... i don’t know what to say.. thank god that he died or was his journal a piece if fiction he maintained to give him the ego boost??

Vijay said...

oh wow...for that final entry... second iya's thoughts....

IdeaSmith said...

EGAD!!! I read 'The Girl With A Dragon Tattoo' on the weekend and now this. Gah, gah, gah....brrrrrr....

Okay drama aside, I think you can rework this a bit. Add some more masala to it. Don't change the plot, just add some more colour in the form of conversations,characterisations, people etc. Two-bit worth done.

Parul said...

chilling...

manuscrypts said...

what block? :D

shilpa said...

hey cynic! Welcome back!
That is such a haunting post!..well written..and so terribly scary !I know its fiction...but so glad that he died!..
Its sad...but in India , so many girls face abuse of some sort or the other.Most accept it as fate..and are too ashamed to talk about it.Thats how these sick guys can continue getting away with it..

AmitL said...

Hi,Cyn..nice to see u back..and,whew-what a post..quite scary,frankly..what diary entries- either a figment of his imagination or reality?Worthy of a Bollywoodian movie...Random fiction,nicely written,indeed!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

iya - yayyy i was missed! yus the idea was to leave the people guessing. the first version was actually even more - well bland for a lack of a better girl

vijay, parul - thanks

ideasmithy - thankee for the feedback. actually the original version was even more spare in details. but then i showed it to someone who didnt get it wonly. sigh.


manu - very much blocked. not writing anything now no.

shilpa - true. and everyone faces some indignities or others in some form or the other. i had one incident yesterday which i will post about.

amit - upto you to decide what you want it to be no.

Pinku said...

hey....was hoping to see a bubbly post on the vacation....and this chilled my spine...inspite of the fiction tag couldnt help the goosebumps.

Nicely written and I think its just perfect.

Epiphany said...

So this was your entry to flash fiction?...no chance for me now :( ...I wonder what/who inspired you to write this! ;)

a million different people said...

Welcome back! Vacation good?

I thought the story was nice but I too wanted more in it.

roop said...

omg, that's freaky!!!!!! I was honestly believing it to be true and was scared shi####### until i read the label 'fiction'. Thank god for fiction! wooo. what a relief!!!! :(

written so well that it had me gripped!! :) welcome back.

chandni said...

awesome!!!!

well done already!!!

write more fiction!

P said...

phew..I'm glad its a fiction..scary!
Didn't know you write dark stories too..very well written though.

Amey said...

Was looking for a standard tragic-romantic story, until it turned... scary :(

Guess we should start going through the journals of the people they date, huh? (Well, there are also female serial killers out there)

Amey said...

Was looking for a standard tragic-romantic story, until it turned... scary :(

Guess we should start going through the journals of the people we date, huh? (Well, there are also female serial killers out there)

Cynic in Wonderland said...

pinku - will post on vacation soon. like i mentioned - a little bit of bloggers block happening. this was written sometime back.

epiphany - ah i didnt get selected sigh. did you? :(((. inspiration - well somewhere it was the combination of BPO rapes which one sees in the papers no. there was that one in IBM i think speciifcally where the colleagues were involved.

million different people. good vacation yus. this was restricted by the 500 word limit - so ...

hey rimzie - thank you. where are you now? disappeared from the face of the earth eh?

chandni - hehe - i have enough and more written and kept. so far had avoided posting em.

p - thank you.

amey - serial women murdererers? jill the rippers? interesting but i cant seem to think of any serial femme murderers at all. do you know of any? wonder what the motivations would be.

gooddaysunshine said...

Heya Cynic..Been reading you for quite some time now..decided to say hi finally!

Love what you write.

Santosh said...

I feel sorry for his death. but his notes drip raw lust. Throbbing to pierce,leak and die. Sad he died before that. So, be assured that he will be born again just to find a body to peirce, leak and die again.

Epiphany said...

I dnt think the results are out yet..any how if they are then I dint get in :)

phatichar said...

Awesome! :-)

(Ahem...have we thought about that book you were gonna write?) Abhi to not just comedy, aap to Horror bhi achchi likh lete ho..

Way to go!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

hey gooddaysunshine - i am so glad you delurked. and hope to see you more.

santosh - er..is that sympathy i hear?

epiphany - yup they are out i reckon. sigh.

phatichar - book likhne ke iraade to bahut hai . but i sit with a blank document in front of me and an equally blank mind. sigh

Reluctant Warrior said...

Mumbai Police Casefile - Case No. MUM/ANDH/2008/129881.

Victim: Rangan Chabbra
Cause of Death: Fall from 26th floor of building
Profession: Worked at IT MNC
...

...found a diary which was identical in content to diaries found from victims Avinash Mathur and Ramanna Parthasarathy trying to implicate the deceased as a rapist & serial killer.

... specialist Dr Kumar agrees that hand writing in the diaries has the same basic cursive characteristics as the writing in the love letter.

... was a serial killer who made believed herself that the victims were themselves rapists and killers and that she was their next target. Her modus operandi was to drug them and then 'cause' an accident. She would subsequenly plant a diary with photographs of her other female victims to show that these men were serial killers themselves and that she somehow survived them.

...
Case Status: Suspect still at large.