Monday, September 22, 2008

Super Cyn (and Super Ma in a special guest appearance) feature in Revenge of the Roving-Eye-Lizzie

Ed note:This one was written sometime in 2004. I vaguely remember posting it but it seems to have disappeared from the archives, which is strange since I dont delete posts.(the Busy Lizzie one is there). I am still suffering from bloggers block so wading through the hard disk for stuff written in the past which has never seen the light of day. Is that cheating? Hmmm. Ah well)

A quick flashback: Busy Lizzie - the dacoit queen of the reptilian looks and the scaly tail - of whom many ballads of nefarious traps and malignant intents have been penned, had ambushed poor unsuspecting Super Cyn and Super Ma one fine day a few months before this tale. Super Ma, (Super Cyn’s sidekick) after a nasty showdown with Busy Lizzie, had emerged triumphant to tell the tale

Roving-Eye-Lizzie aka R-E-L, the direct descendent of Busy Lizzie, comes into their lives again to avenge the death of her mother.

Roving-Eye-Lizzie, one of the sterling members of the Fork-Tongue Gang, has earned that moniker because of her particularly nasty-looking left eye. Strangely over-developed, glassy, this eye seems to freeze and overpower anyone who accidentally catches sight of it. She has been known to wreak havoc in a number of households around the world because of her particularly sinister modus operandi, which is to stare them into immobility with that strange roving eye and then stun them with the malignant poison from that deadly forked tongue (that trademark of the Fork Tongue Gang!)

And now, she wanted to destroy Super Cyn!

In the quest for vengeance, R-E-L, had laid her masterly plan. Catch Super-Cyn unawares was the strategy. Unsuspecting is vulnerable. Vulnerable is success for R-E-L

So one day, Super-Cyn having showered and preparing to depart from the bathroom finds it manned by R-E-L looking particularly menacing and hideously green, perched on top of a bottle of Dettol. The roving eye (of the R-E-L fame) is rolling in its socket malevolently looking at our heroine while the forked tongue of the (Fork-Tongue-Gang fame) is lazily investigating the top of the Dettol bottle savoring it as if it was one of the finest shots of Scotch.

Trapped and defenseless, what does Super Cyn do? Does she give up? No!!

After being initially frozen to the spot (thanks to the tipsy malignant eye), she grabs the hand shower pipe and aims the nozzle and sprays R-E-L with a jet of hot water edging away as far as she can in the meantime.

R-E-L facing a steam of scalding water, lets go of her perch on the Dettol bottle and slips down to the soaps

The fighting spirit of this valiant descendent of Lazaretto the Hun is brought to the fore by this direct confrontation. She turns around and glares at Super Cyn, the eye rolling in true rover style and decides to try a more direct approach. From the soap area, she jumps onto the shower gel, the height providing a vantage position to view Super Cyn and re-evaluates her strategy, and stares at Super Cyn. Super Cyn, unfazed stares right back at her. Suddenly R-E-L launches downward on to the shelf. Super Cyn, with her usual presence of mind, clambers on to the washing machine. The steam of hot water, which she was aiming at R-E-L, is cooling off to a nice pleasantly warm trickle so she needs to get some other weapon to tackle the menace.

In the meantime, she also yells for reinforcements from sidekick Super Ma who, oblivious to the danger Super Cyn is in, is in the kitchen cooking mutter-paneer. Now Super Ma, for some strange reason, refuses to acknowledge the real menace and danger of R-E-L and insists on underestimating her prowess. In fact, she constantly tells Super Cyn that she is over-emphasizing the R-E-L threat. Super Ma stands outside the door and asks what is the matter. On being told that it is R-E-L, Busy Lizzie's daughter, Super Ma puffed up with her last victory against the Lizzie clan snickers and leaves our poor heroine to her fate.

Does the unprotected Super Cyn give up now? No!!

With her foot, she overturns a bucket and tries to roll it towards R-E-L. Doesn't work. Thinking quickly, she uses the shower pipe as a lasso to edge the bucket forward. R-E-L, having clambered down the wall onto the floor, is temporarily trapped behind the bucket. Having thus strategically out-maneuvered R-E-L with the bucket, our super heroine jumps down from the washing machine and runs like the wind outside (still holding the shower nozzle in her hand until the last minute in case of a surprise attack) and locks R-E-L inside.

She then proceeds to give Super Ma a piece of her mind for so letting her face the danger alone and insists she remedy it immediately. Super Ma, suitably chastised, picks up the rod and proceeds towards the bathroom and forces R-E-L to retreat the way she entered - the window,which is then, barricaded against further surprise attacks.

And the super combination of Super Cyn and Super Ma prevail yet AGAIN!

Thus ends the saga of R-E-L.

Good triumphs over Evil. Every time!

18 comments:

Pinku said...

hey.....please pass me on some of your awesome superpowers since ....I am completetly scared of 'the one who shall not even be names'

Epiphany said...

LOL! btw "Super Ma, (Super Cyn’s sidekick) " Does Super Ma know that she is the sidekick?

You need to get one such Liz descendant as a pet...will be good fun..at least for us readers :)

manuscrypts said...

a recent comment by the author on a microblogging platform misled readers on the status of the bloggers block :p

Nandini Vishwanath said...

ROTFL :D

Super- Ma is always a sidekick, and is never a supportive one when it comes to R.E.L, no?

AmitL said...

ROFL-Cyn, thanks for revising the memories of ole Lizzie.:)I don't remember reading this one,though-so,perhaps you DID forget to post it then.
---
I almost felt like I was reading one of the Superman stories.haha...could almost picture the 'shower pipe as a lasso to edge the bucket forward'-what a battle..but then,the forces of good won over the forces of evil!:)
---
Do you encounter any of Lizzie's relatives,even now? A suggestion,if so-overnight,soak a cotton ball and throw it on the nearby wall,so that it sticks there-Lizzie'll think it's an insect,swallow it and wham-in the morning,you'll find it's left for it's heavenly abode..of course,I wonder if you could be so cold-hearted!:)*grins*

Trinaa said...

rofl!!!!!!!!!!!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

Pinku - the superpowers cannot be so distributed bah. You either have them or you dont. Else dont you think I would be hmmm...who would i be? Spiderman? Superman? I think I would go with Stupendous man.

epiphany - ma knows? if ma knew super cyn would be buried way out of sight hehe.

manu - suffering still. wht to do?

nandini - yus. never supportive. and always very superior isnt it?

amitl - not so far. new house so far touch wood. kill em you say? prefer to drive em away. prefer someone else should drive em away rather

trina allo allo

Solitaire said...

I really wanted to read your post but the word LIZZIE turned me off completely for fear that it might be something related to lizards that I have a huge phobia of.

Is it?

IdeaSmith said...

"More thrilling than James Hadley Chase, neater gizmos than a Bond flick. SuperCyn dethrones Lara Croft as a modern heroine of our times!!!"

- The BakwasBoli

Cynic in Wonderland said...

solitaire - er..uhm..er..yes..the biggest menace on the block.

ideasmith - did u know there was a "do you want to be a superhero"TV show? you reckon SuperCyn can make it there?

The Fool said...

Lol. Nice imagination. Reminds me of Calvin's alter egos.

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