Friday, June 27, 2008

Kayku Haiku?

Lekhini had tagged me with an interesting thingie the other day but given the fact that I am on leave with a completely rubbish connection, I had not got around to writing or uploading it.But here goes ….

First the rules

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of. Bonus points if you have to show off your Google skills because you can’t remember the name of it and all you can come up with is that it features Roz Russell and Sandra Dee. Turns out it was some tripe called Rosie! Exclamation point the producers’ idea, not mine.“Auntie Mame leavings.”

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date. Bonus points if it was sordid. Subtract points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.“He pushed my head down. I puked.”

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had.

Put it all together and you have a haiku of life’s low points.
The actual tag says one haiku, but since I HAVE delayed writing it, will penalize myself and write two. Besides, so many of these experiences, its hard to chose!

Worst movie ever (5 syllables):
Man blanks love through booze
OR
Banshee Kirron Kher
OR
Plastic Queen Breaks Heart

Worst date ever (7 syllables):
Britney Spears fan club man
OR
Two timed him on first date, bore!

Worst job ever (5 syllables:
Start blues, Friday evening

A work stealing boss

The explanations:

Movie: Okay the first one might be simple enough. All three refer to the same movie. Actually there are a whole bunch of other bad movies floating around, but none reached quite the decibel levels of this one. Viz. Devdas

Date: Someone raving over Britney’s talent? Ahem. Same chap again, I was so thoroughly bored that I and my-then-friend-who-would-end-up-being-future-husband were having a parallel flirting session through text messaging.

Job: The first one refers to my first job; it was such a nightmare would start getting Monday morning blues from Friday evening itself. That’s pretty good indicator if you want to quit btw.
The other Haiku refers to my third job, where I had this ******* boss who would first rip my presentations, then steal them and mail it around claiming it was his ( after changing the background and color templates.) I devised a very effective solution to that. I took to showing the work to all and sundry before mailing him. So when he DID show the work as his, people pretty much knew it wasn’t.

Okay who to tag now?

Ideasmithy The wordsmith – would love to see this one
Epiphany: Doing a rocking job with the 55 word stories, so let’s see the 5 syllable ones
Naren: With all the courtship stories et al, one would love to see the horror stories from dating especially
Kraz: ah there is a reason for this.


And all ye others who are up for it

3 comments:

Lekhni said...

Nice haikus. The bosses sound horrible, though. I thought I had the record for horrible bosses, but your experience seems to be similar!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

yus we should swap stories. i had one boss who was single handedly responsible for four teams of people ( entire teams of 10-12 people) quitting within a week. she has also caused two nervous breakdowns, made forty year old men cry in office and resulted in three people quit work for good.

ah well.

Kraz Arkin said...

You tagged me? I'm very bad with syllables. Can I cheat and do what I feel like?