The Dearly Departed

All organizations periodically go through an exodus every few years. An eerie, almost synchronized exit from the workplace in a remarkably short time span. A period when it appears as if, almost every other person has resigned or is on the verge of resigning or is desperately searching for jobs and looking forward to resigning. (My old office, for instance, witnessed an unprecedented and un-orchestrated departure of 32 managers in three weeks. The HR team was sitting on floors, flailing their chests and pulling their hair out in anguish).

The problem only arises when you (a relative fresher to the organization), get stuck in the middle of this upheaval.

There are typically two ways of reacting to this exodus, depending on the kind of person you are.

If you are the strong, brave corporate type of rookie, you will observe this flight of people with icy, impassiveness and disdain.
“Go” you will think. “I will take over this organization” and “You should have left earlier you incompetent deserters, I will now show you how organizations need to be run” and “ now you will actually see some difference in all those Excel tables and PowerPoint graphs” you mentally holler, in a smug, self satisfied way.

However, if you are one of the slightly feeble minded, feebly loyal breed (such as yours truly) – then this exodus has quite a different effect.

You (the vague feeble minded variant – henceforth referred to as VFMV) unfortunately and quite reprehensibly, get infected with the great Exit Mode Virus.

The VFMV normal work mode is growly-cranky-cribby-whiny-broke – this will suddenly undergo a complete and inexplicable metamorphosis.

The VFMV is happy. The VFMV is beaming. The VFMV feels buoyant coming to work thinking joyful thoughts about how it’s just for a few more days. The VFMV is swashbuckling and dynamic in meetings and has strong opinions on stuff which the VFMV has no clue about. The VFMV is delightfully irresponsible about deadlines and their importance. When colleagues and business partners speak in grave serious tones about plans to be put in practise in two months, the VFMV mentally chuckles and thinks “I won’t be HERE to implement these plans in two months. At every opportunity, the VFMV polishes and refines the resignation letter. The VFMV surfs websites like makemytrip.com and plans on where the VFMV person should go after the VFMV finishes the notices period and before the start of the new job.

And then the VFMV has an epiphany. The VFMV does NOT have a new job. The VFMV does not have a new job because no new jobs have been applied for. Heck the VFMV does not even have an updated resume.

The VFMV is left with feelings akin to seeing off a party of friends off to a holiday in Hawaii while forlornly standing at the departure lounge. The VFMV damns everyone to eternal hell and then looks mournfully at the at the all-ready-but-the-printing resignation letter, sighs and sadly shuts the PC off.


Update for April 1st:

Happy Birthdays to the Blog (4 YEARS!!! I started it as a April Fools joke on myself) and the Bloke (Otherwise known as the husband or the hero or S I had to alliterate, I can’t HELP it) – Both very integral to my life. You shall get a special post (both of you), once I get out of this darn blogger’s block on birthdays.