Monday, March 31, 2008

The Dearly Departed

All organizations periodically go through an exodus every few years. An eerie, almost synchronized exit from the workplace in a remarkably short time span. A period when it appears as if, almost every other person has resigned or is on the verge of resigning or is desperately searching for jobs and looking forward to resigning. (My old office, for instance, witnessed an unprecedented and un-orchestrated departure of 32 managers in three weeks. The HR team was sitting on floors, flailing their chests and pulling their hair out in anguish).

The problem only arises when you (a relative fresher to the organization), get stuck in the middle of this upheaval.

There are typically two ways of reacting to this exodus, depending on the kind of person you are.

If you are the strong, brave corporate type of rookie, you will observe this flight of people with icy, impassiveness and disdain.
“Go” you will think. “I will take over this organization” and “You should have left earlier you incompetent deserters, I will now show you how organizations need to be run” and “ now you will actually see some difference in all those Excel tables and PowerPoint graphs” you mentally holler, in a smug, self satisfied way.

However, if you are one of the slightly feeble minded, feebly loyal breed (such as yours truly) – then this exodus has quite a different effect.

You (the vague feeble minded variant – henceforth referred to as VFMV) unfortunately and quite reprehensibly, get infected with the great Exit Mode Virus.

The VFMV normal work mode is growly-cranky-cribby-whiny-broke – this will suddenly undergo a complete and inexplicable metamorphosis.

The VFMV is happy. The VFMV is beaming. The VFMV feels buoyant coming to work thinking joyful thoughts about how it’s just for a few more days. The VFMV is swashbuckling and dynamic in meetings and has strong opinions on stuff which the VFMV has no clue about. The VFMV is delightfully irresponsible about deadlines and their importance. When colleagues and business partners speak in grave serious tones about plans to be put in practise in two months, the VFMV mentally chuckles and thinks “I won’t be HERE to implement these plans in two months. At every opportunity, the VFMV polishes and refines the resignation letter. The VFMV surfs websites like makemytrip.com and plans on where the VFMV person should go after the VFMV finishes the notices period and before the start of the new job.

And then the VFMV has an epiphany. The VFMV does NOT have a new job. The VFMV does not have a new job because no new jobs have been applied for. Heck the VFMV does not even have an updated resume.

The VFMV is left with feelings akin to seeing off a party of friends off to a holiday in Hawaii while forlornly standing at the departure lounge. The VFMV damns everyone to eternal hell and then looks mournfully at the at the all-ready-but-the-printing resignation letter, sighs and sadly shuts the PC off.


Update for April 1st:


Happy Birthdays to the Blog (4 YEARS!!! I started it as a April Fools joke on myself) and the Bloke (Otherwise known as the husband or the hero or S I had to alliterate, I can’t HELP it) – Both very integral to my life. You shall get a special post (both of you), once I get out of this darn blogger’s block on birthdays.

19 comments:

vEENs said...

was really sad....when i read ht whole thing loved it and was going to comment --" totallyy... hehhe..funny :) etc" and boom the post disappears.. and I was like WTH... i was on yur page..readin it ;)

so i asked u what happened :))

ahh well..

my fav one..

****And then the VFMV has an epiphany. The VFMV does NOT have a new job.

hehehhe! and theis one also --

****“Go” you will think. “I will take over this organization” and “You should have left earlier you incompetent deserters, [...] you mentally holler, in a smug, self satisfied way.

totally hilarious :)

P said...

I myself haven't been in the same position ever, but I saw my bf going through it. He couldn't leave even if he wanted because of visa issues. He was one of the only two engineers in the company for many months. And it actually turned out to be good for him. He could be in charge of entire projects and do things his own way. It was lot of work but was rewarding too.
So, maybe if you stick around you can take over your organization :)

Epiphany said...

:) funny!...BTW you have taken to the Acronymyous Jargon too...VFMV ;)

Mo said...

As much as I love this post, I hate you for sending me on a guilt trip.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

veens - been fiddling around with the template these days so must have done something to the post hehe.

p - i dont want to take over the organization. i only want to earn lots of money with minimal effort. thats not too much to ask for is it?


mo - fire off some resumes i say. call up headhunters. you need to keep up the interviewing habit


epiphany - well thats an acronym not jargon no?

narendra shenoy said...

HaHaHa - Enjoyed! Happy birthday to your blog. Keep cheering us up.

Kiran said...

32 managers in 3 weeks..hmm...HR does have some problems now...probably they are encountering 'moments of ephiphanies' all day long! :)

Solitaire said...

Happy Birthday to your blog!

Arunima said...

"The HR team was sitting on floors, flailing their chests and pulling their hair out in anguish"
ha ha ha.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

naren and solitaire - my blog says thank you

Kiran - i was one of them ! heheh good fun

arunima - well 32 people!

'jo said...

boy!...that is quite a sumptuous post.....
like there are typical reactions to such exodus.....there are seasons too for such exodus.....the post appraisal era...thats where all the companies are open to hiring..but yeah 32 managers in 3 weeks is quite a number!!

chandni said...

happy birthday blog!

Roop Rai said...

wow four years of blogging!!! congratulations! :)

Drenched said...

"The HR team was sitting on floors, flailing their chests and pulling their hair out in anguish"
Hahahahahaha! :D

Happy birthday to your bloggie!:)

Cynic in Wonderland said...

jo - yup post appraisals is THE time. im in exit mode in anticipating of that if truth be told hehe.

rimzie and solitaire - the blog says thank you so much

drenched. thank you to u too

AmitL said...

Hi,Cyn..hehe..this 'mass exodus'thingie was only too visible in India,even in my prev co..we used to be shell-shocked in the beginning. Then,realization started dawning-the less the competitors,the faster your growth.

Out here,too,we had an exodus of 15 people in one month,but, things still kept moving..I guess it's coz finally,organizations always move on,even if 'considered indispensable' people move.

**The HR team was sitting on floors, flailing their chests and pulling their hair out in anguish.

I ROFLled at that remark.Was just imagining the HR team flailing their chests and going'Haaye Haaye'.:):)

AmitL said...

Oh,yes...happy bday to your blog and the bloge,err,bloke!:)

Cynic in Wonderland said...

thankee amitl

Animesh Kulkarni said...

Loved it. It's true!