Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Yesterday when I was speaking to my mother, she recounted this incident which happened recently to a family-friend’s daughter – T.

I have known T since she was about 3 or 4. She was a pretty child and has grown up to be a pretty young woman – she must be about 21 or so now. T enrolled in a hotel management course, finished it successfully and ended up at a very well known, 5-star hotel in North India (immediately after internship in Mumbai).

So far, so good.

Apparently, she had the mischance to catch the eye of some rich baap-ka-beta, who along with three other friends started stalking T. Obviously rich baap-ka-beta who floats around in 5-7 star hotels, WOULD assume that all the employees of the hotel are some sort of private property and all the girls who work in the hotel, a private harem.
These four gentlemen, started haunting the hotel and following T. So much so, that they were planning to kidnap her.

Fortunately before they could actually succeed in the plan (I am not sure whether they bungled it, or were still planning) - in what would surely have ended up as a rape, if not murder, T managed to alert her parents who promptly dropped everything and went and brought her home.

T apparently ended up so traumatized that she had a nervous breakdown – she was too scared to move out of her house or even look or speak to anyone. Hotel management, which she has trained in, was of course immediately dropped.

So a potential Jessica Lal disaster was averted. However it wouldn’t have been Jessica Lal media hype – but a quiet tragedy which would make news for maybe two days and be forgotten by everyone, but the people who know her.

So what does this mean for people like us? The ordinary girls from the upper-middle-class homes, just trying to live their lives quietly, with dignity.

One oft heard statement is that “Girls from ‘good homes’ should not put themselves in ‘situations like this’.

What situations?

Should pretty girls make themselves ugly so that they don’t catch someone’s fancy?

Should they just wear a chador while going down the roads?

Is one not supposed to work in preferred field of choice, watch a late-night-movie, take an evening walk , travel alone because it might be those kind of ‘situations’? (after that Wipro girl’s rape- Every single time I go to Bombay alone in a car (which is quite often), Ma and S worry until I reach the other city safely. I find that stifling – but I can’t really blame them for the concern).

Where all is one supposed to protect oneself from?

The rich-baap-ka-betas however don’t have any restrictions about situations ‘like that’. Daddies-dear will of course come and say that the concerned girl was a slut who was just begging to be raped and their poor-sons-who-wouldn’t-hurt-flies-just-obliged-out-of-the-goodness-of-their-hearts.

When will industrialists and politicians sons learn that they are not a law unto themselves?

When will their fathers (who have often vowed to protect the masses) stop protecting the sons at any cost and make them accountable for their misdemeanours?

Will there ever be a ‘situation’ that half the population can go out, live independently, breathe freely secure in the knowledge that they are safe from people 'like that'?


Ditty said...

I don't know when the bade-baap-ke-betas will change or when their baaps will change.. and maybe they won't but I firmly believe that girls should learn to take matters in their own hands when faced with such little rich jerkoids!
T is a little too young to face something like this, especially on her first professional assignment, but she did the smart thing by telling her parents. Also, waving a pepper spray in the faces of the lil rich jerks wouldn't have hurt either.... At the end of the day, I think T is lucky that she has parents who stood by her and took her away to protect her! I am sure, with time, she will get over this traumatic incident and move on with her life.
Such incidents really make me mad! :S

Cynic in Wonderland said...

its just such a helpless anger..you may succeed in pepper spray once, but then if there are four of them hell bent on trying to do you harm, WHAT can you do ?

a young girl alone against four guys( and these assholes always hunt in herds) ? what chance does she have? police protection, restraining orders? thats a joke here.

and yes, its good that she had the sense to call her folks.. and she was lucky they could bail her out in time. Others often are not.

Morpheus said...

Perhaps we should get blue chadors and move en-masse to Afghanistan..or change the constitution of our country..since freedom of any sort sounds like a myth..

vEENs said...

Never.. they will never change. ANd we will never be safe.
I was thinking about this since I saw Halla Bol.

I feel insecure all the time.. Males who are with you can't protect you too.. [look at what happened to the 2 NRI women.. being molested by 80 men?]

I am sorry to hear what happened to your friend.. I feel more insecure... angered and help-less!!

chandni said...


More than the rich baap ka beta ka power, its the bloody power males have or have been given by society. Its like men can get away with anything, especially in this country.

I always say that the only way for women to stop sexual harassment is to stop breathing.

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Arunima said...

Hope T comes out of it. I am also angry. What you said about the media coverage is right. It would be just for two days.

Cynic in Wonderland said...

morpheus - exactly.. for a country which respects women, its terribly scary. and what is scarier is this bestiality is in the guise of otherwise rich-sophisticated well educated people

Veens - yes, i have seriously contemplated buying a pepper spray - but i dont want to. i dont want to go everywhere scared of what might happen

chandni - yus, and these power males as such ****** when it comes to their kin ( and i will come and see the tag, was traveling, just back into office and trying to figure out life)

arunima - T is better i believe - but i guess she will always carry the scars. sigh

vEENs said...

Ohh! And I was wondering.. why you have not replied or posted :)

Hope you had a nice journey!

Have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

When will industrialists and politicians sons learn that they are not a law unto themselves?

ANS: Never.

And it's nothing to do with being male either. Haven't you followed the Paris Hilton jail time joke last year? She gets cited three times for driving drunk. Then has her license revoked. Still drives, without a license AND drunk. Gets arrested. Gets jail time of a meagre 45 days after pulling massive drama. The jail superintendent arranges for moisturizers and other comforts. The jail time gets reduced to 23 days for "good" behavior.

lekhni said...

Quite a horrifying story. It's true, women can never be really safe. There are only so many "precautions" you can take.