tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post2798049519484662492..comments2023-12-26T02:13:41.902-08:00Comments on Cynic in Wonderland: Unrequited friendshipCynic in Wonderlandhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17544348501114907088noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-56927724486878073412010-06-26T00:21:16.111-07:002010-06-26T00:21:16.111-07:00I was quite impressed with what you have written h...I was quite impressed with what you have written here.<br />I have been going through this myself HOWEVER I feel it is me that is on the receiving end of the unrequited friendship. It has plagued me for a while, and I cannot shake this unending feeling of a loss overwhelming.<br />For my part though the frustrating element is this is all over someone I have not physically met.<br />At the end of the day, the fact remains that I became tremendously close to someone and now, it is though my friendship is an inconvenience.<br />Added to this is the geographical limitations of it all.<br />I am naturally a talker, and am very open and honest. In most cases if I have an issue with someone, or someone has an issue with me, then I can talk my way through to an amicable solution.<br />In this case, I have to rely soley on the internet. I cannot even pick up a phone to call. And even that would be referable to IM's as at least that way I would be able to impart some tone into my message.<br />I fear though that with the onset of the internet age, my problem will no longer be an isolated one, and more and more people are turning to IM to engage socially.<br />Consequently friendships can be turned off as easily as a press of the button.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-53802548063714131902010-01-09T06:58:51.049-08:002010-01-09T06:58:51.049-08:00But how awesome it is, when it is the other way ro...But how awesome it is, when it is the other way round! I have moved physically away from my friends; but as I called them after some years, i knew exactly why they and i had become friends to begin with. <br /><br />But it too was force majeure, i think!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-33200192541167351082008-09-02T01:04:00.000-07:002008-09-02T01:04:00.000-07:00a million different people - what do you do if it ...a million different people - what do you do if it comes up very early in the conversation?<BR/><BR/>thank you naren.Cynic in Wonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17544348501114907088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-31022098625082238942008-08-27T10:54:00.000-07:002008-08-27T10:54:00.000-07:00Deep, ma'am, deep! Great post as usual.Deep, ma'am, deep! Great post as usual.Narendra shenoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00435746867801885684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-90803665900983984122008-08-27T10:45:00.000-07:002008-08-27T10:45:00.000-07:00Any "What else?"s directed at me merit only a "Not...Any "What else?"s directed at me merit only a "Nothing much; I think I need to go" and nothing more.a million different peoplehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17997740144859813822noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-76589701803464581642008-08-26T22:52:00.000-07:002008-08-26T22:52:00.000-07:00pinku - yus tried. but it ends up damn stilted. an...pinku - yus tried. but it ends up damn stilted. and i guess unless there is a genuine connection and interest, the conversation still ends up being stilted. <BR/><BR/>fiona - i do that too. all the time. but then i feel terrible about it. wish the other person wasnt nice you know. that helps minimize the guilt. <BR/><BR/>manu - fellow sufferer eh?<BR/><BR/>trina - isnt it? one is just cringing thinking ok just hang up now pls. <BR/><BR/>rimzie - what else is new to you too. <BR/><BR/><BR/>lekhini exactly and imagine a conversation composed almost exclusively of what elses. yus by and large dont have too many colleagues who have made the friend cut. but there are a couple. but then i guess we neevr ever behaved like colleagues. hmmCynic in Wonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17544348501114907088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-66408980011533478532008-08-26T20:30:00.000-07:002008-08-26T20:30:00.000-07:00The first "What else" means, to me, that the conve...The first "What else" means, to me, that the conversation has ended! I cannot imagine myself finding much in common with ex-colleagues either..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-65304795563332604902008-08-26T16:16:00.000-07:002008-08-26T16:16:00.000-07:00So what else is new?So what else is new?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-48875529771129739532008-08-26T06:35:00.000-07:002008-08-26T06:35:00.000-07:00kasam se...ye 'what else' n 'aur bolo' is highly i...kasam se...ye 'what else' n 'aur bolo' is highly irritating...<BR/>..pity slamming the phone down voilently is frowned upon ;)Trinaahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00004452009121398336noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-24992221311593947732008-08-26T04:06:00.000-07:002008-08-26T04:06:00.000-07:00contextual friends :) wrote about it sometime back...contextual friends :) wrote about it sometime back .. check it out http://www.manuscrypts.com/?p=367Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-34546443338013684592008-08-26T03:01:00.000-07:002008-08-26T03:01:00.000-07:00can totally identify with your post and have often...can totally identify with your post and have often been in the same boat..<BR/>i resort to 3rd rate tactics to get myself out of it...after the statutory number of "and what else" or "give me some news", i just say "boss in room, gtg" or "phone..brb" :(<BR/>i felt bad initially..now..not so much!!!Princess Fionahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01528202425335887101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-32113623338521207252008-08-26T02:04:00.000-07:002008-08-26T02:04:00.000-07:00hmmm....uncomfortable situation surely. But ever t...hmmm....uncomfortable situation surely. But ever tried getting into the present with such guys? as in telling them what u do now...or better still ask what they do. how work is and what their future plans are?<BR/><BR/>Atleast u will not be fumbling with different ways of saying aur kya?Pinkuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06714914168230658950noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-78995661288797944532008-08-25T20:54:00.000-07:002008-08-25T20:54:00.000-07:00akshaya - lawyer? heck no. not even close.epiphany...akshaya - lawyer? heck no. not even close.<BR/><BR/>epiphany - its like prolonging the play after the curtains are down. one needs to just move on i guess. problem is this particular one the chap in question doesnt seem to know that its three or four years after shelf life is done. sigh. <BR/><BR/>nandini - im glad to know that, honestly. coz whenever i think about it i feel like a really terrible person. so misery likes company and all that. <BR/><BR/>bluemist - absolutely bluemist. most of my colleagues have not made the transition to friends either. but i reckon it happens with friends as well, though probabaly not really close friends. i know a couple of people i was pally with in school, i have not too much in common now. we just grew up with different values etc. <BR/><BR/>shub. yus me too. taken to lurking. the dilemma especially when the other person is nice is why do that to him/her. hmmm.Cynic in Wonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17544348501114907088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-2512642892749550232008-08-25T19:55:00.000-07:002008-08-25T19:55:00.000-07:00Agree...no point in carrying on a friendship when ...Agree...no point in carrying on a friendship when it feels like a farce...or doing it just for old times' sake. Of late, especially on IM I've begun to feel this huge void in conversations with people I could relate to much better a few years back - like you said there's only so many "so what else is happening?" that you can punctuate your conversations with. Then it becomes awkward. Explains why I don't even do IM these days.<BR/><BR/>And who was it who said it's better to burn out than fade away? He was right.shubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11458071894891481574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-6992323335290450582008-08-25T07:05:00.000-07:002008-08-25T07:05:00.000-07:00I can understand abt those "what else" type conver...I can understand abt those "what else" type conversations. <BR/>But this is scary and left me thinking !!<BR/><BR/>I wouldn't attribute such relationships as "Friendships"!! Probably I guess that's why my collegues have been just "collgues" all these years. they never graduated to friends level. <BR/><BR/>and yes such relationships come with an expiry date ; but not the real friends !!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-60231920304166465012008-08-25T07:00:00.000-07:002008-08-25T07:00:00.000-07:00I know! Its happened to me too.I know! Its happened to me too.Nandini Vishwanathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08191678360010655394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-11314776338565617872008-08-25T06:13:00.000-07:002008-08-25T06:13:00.000-07:00Everything does have a shelf life...but you can't ...Everything does have a shelf life...but you can't make people realize it I guess..they need their own time for it...wokay...need to think up a morbid post now ;)Epiphanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09299278033220632644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1985300941233806528.post-69259778873122913862008-08-25T06:00:00.000-07:002008-08-25T06:00:00.000-07:00So true.And 'force majeure'....are you a lawyer?So true.<BR/>And 'force majeure'....are you a lawyer?Akshaya Kamalnathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06477000426672145777noreply@blogger.com